Double for Trouble. ;)

| 19 August 2010. Day Twenty-four of my faith journey with God|

SO. Today is the day I've gotten into the most trouble in school in the history of ever. 

It started during third period when we were going for PE and a teacher asked whether we were willing to sacrifice our PE to help 5N1 with their oral. BUT. It was our last PE. So that was a no for me. So I kept walking and she was like, "Deborah, where do you think you are going?" and so I was being honest when I said I wasn't willing to make that sacrifice. 

And things spiraled out of control from there on forth.

She came down to confront the 21 of us who had walked away from helping 5N1. Naturally with my position, she was particularly harsh on me but to me, and so many others, we had merely made the decision that she didn't like and that's why she was so upset- she didn't get what she had wanted. So I basically had to bear the brunt of her fury. And I bet it was pent up from other events, just that she chose to unleash it on me. We just took advantage of the fact that she had supposedly given us a choice. You know, I would think "choice" is rather self-explanatory and should be taken literally though i knew there was always the existence of the politically correct answer.

Then she went on to criticise our person. Not even the behaviour. Like it was a life sentence. Were we wrong to make the choice? No. Was our choice wrong? Well, apparently. :/

Anyway, we were extremely pissed because we felt like we'd just gotten scolded for making a choice. And I'm sure everyone is selfish. People may display it or conceal it but the fact still remains. Worst was that, I didn't get a chance to state our side of the story, our opinion. Now I know why she says no one can compete with her in arguing. It's because she doesn't even let them speak. She's said she preferred psychology because you listened to a person and worked out a solution without medication, I thought that was really awesome. But then, she never listened at all, because she was so eager to prove herself right.

She walked away and we continued playing, I'd expected her to complain to my Ti/c so I'd asked Ti/c whether or not she had told her what had happened. But apparently Ti/c hadn't and super xia sui, while we were talking, she walked past and joined in but rather to scold me more? Haha. YET AGAIN. I was given no opportunity to make my case. -.- Totally a case of bullying if you ask me. 

And even more xia sui was that the VP walked past at that moment when she was scolding me. But maybe that'll be all the better. Because maybe if this goes up to the P, someone will actually ask for my opinion. :/

Well, in the course of these events, i felt emotionally drained, not just because I had spent so much effort being angry but also because I was tired because it was coming towards the end of the week and my weekend booster was just about running out. In any case, I'm still powerless. So...

Well, despite my exhaustion I still had to go for tuition. And apparently, Ti/c messaged me twice during tuition just to make sure i was feeling okay. Which was very sweet of her. :) But i felt fine because I hadn't done anything wrong by speaking up. Anyway, we concluded that I should apologise, a notion I was intending to do tomorrow but ti/c encouraged me further to apologise.

Anyway, I just feel that everyone is self-centered. Honestly, if you cared about every ant you accidentally killed, you'd be getting on no where in life. It's just who perform selflessly in the public eye and who does it quietly without much recognition. Granted, there was those who really wanted to help out and not just out of convenience, I'll give them that much credit.

But honestly, even many of the rich actually give out of their own convenience. Some people may even give to get tax rebates. Is that honestly selflessness? Because i reckon at that rate, we only give if it benefits us or if it's not too much out of our way. Granted there are some philanthropists such as Bill Gates who are really willing to give outside of their convenience.

Just a thought. :/

| 20 August 2010. Day Twenty-five of my faith journey with God. |

Anyway, this morning first thing i went to look for her to apologise. After a bit more reflection apart from already knowing that apologising would be the right thing to do, I realise that she was actually trying to teach us a value too. Just that perhaps her approach had sparked off more anger than feelings of guilt and remorse, causing emotions to run high.

Well, I guess she had sort of gotten over it. Because she said the most important thing was that we learnt our lesson. So yeah, I guess that settles that.

But i really want to thank my DG girls, Sam, Charmaine and Melodi for keeping me in their prayers. I don't know how much of God's wisdom and favour i needed to actually go up to her today, but I'm sure their prayers contributed to it and it's great having such supportive friends. They prayed, no questions asked.

Apart from them I'm really appreciative of my friends in school too. Arumi sent me a very encouraging message and i know they've really all got my back so it was something really nice to know. Clarabelle and Priya were in it through it all. the ranting, the omg-shit moments and all the in betweens.

Shawn, for hearing me out. :)

Really love you all. :)

Lastly, I thank my Daddy God for surrounding me with such awesome friends and I really want to thank Him because of Isaiah 61:7 which says that I shall receive double blessing for my trouble. Melodi mentioned this just as I was reading the daily devo for 19th Aug, so it must've really been God speaking to me. :)

Love,
Deborah. [ In whom He is well-pleased]

P.S. FREAKING PRELIMS ARE NEXT WEDNESDAY!!!!!! D: D: D:
P.P.S. 9 weeks to O levels. 1584 hours. 140 h/subject. Which is approx 5.8 days /subject.
P.P.P.S. By Daddy God's grace, I got a B3 for my CHINESE O LEVEL!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH! But my mommy wants to retake. :)